The weekend begins with my son waking me up at an hour -- and in such a way -- that makes it clear he has no idea what hours daddy works.
He could happily stay on a swing for about 80 hours straight so we’ll be down the park at some point as well. Mind you, find me a park that isn't full of heroin addicts, homeless ghost fighters, 14-year-old master criminals or gang-bangers and I'll be impressed.
Saturday is one of the two big nights of the week for performing stand-up, so all I can manage is a trip to the supermarket in the morning and then the crushing disappointment of knowing all my friends are out having a good time, drinks, a new cinematic experience, a pub carpark scrap while I’m going to work.
I don't work Sundays. Not because I'm a Christian or anything, just because I think it's important you have one day a week that you actually see the people who refer to themselves as 'your family'.
As for television shows, I love The Office: An American Workplace. It's well known that a remake is never as good as the original but that is absolutely, unbelievably, incredibly, amazingly brilliant. Better than the original? That's a toughie.
Because I work nights, I don't get to go to the cinema as much as I would like. The last thing I went to see was Avatar in 3D, which was a big stupid Hollywood romp, but one which I loved.
I buy lots of stuff on DVD and Blu-Ray. My favourite films of the last twelve months are probably District 9, Watchmen and Zac And Miri Make A Porno. I don't know if they were all released in the last 12 months, but that's when I watched them.
I read loads of articles online. Huffington Post, The Daily Mash and Wikipedia. In terms of novels, I rarely get the time, but I do love reading comic books. I recently read The Wormwood Chronicles by Garth Ennis, which were enjoyable, but less satisfying than his magnum opus, Preacher. If you like metaphysical angst and hyper-violence, I urge you to read it.
I’ll listen to Jonathan Ross on Saturday morning, then Dermot O'Leary often in the afternoons. If I'm in the car then it's podcasts (The Bugle, SmodCast, The Pod Delusion, The Greenroom Podcast) or Radio 4.
We listen to absolutely every kind of music in our house. It’s as Duke Ellington said: “There are two kinds of music. Good music, and the other kind.” That's how I feel about it. Regularly blasting out of the stereo are Take That (my wife's choice), the theme from Timmy Time (my son's choice) or if I have my way, Plan B, Marina and The Diamonds or Eels.
I see more comedy shows than gigs or plays but this summer is a summer of festivals for me: Glastonbury, Isle of Wight, Camp Bestival, Plymouth Volksfest, Reading, Leeds... and others that I don't remember immediately. So I’ll be seeing a lot of bands.
Theatre-wise I just went to see Jerusalem by Jez Butterworth which was the most rewarding theatrical experience of my life.
I don’t need to order takeaways as there’s a Papa Johns a three minute walk from my front door.
I'm a member of a gym. I go through little spurts of wanting to be fitter, but inevitably I'm more of a sofa bunny than I am a gym bunny.
My perfect weekend would involve my lady and my boy in a field, in our campervan, miles from anywhere and anyone. Fire up the barbecue!
Rufus Hound joins Rich Hall, Dave Spikey, Ivan Brackenbury and Kevin Bridges at Just The Tonic’s Summer Special on June 19 at the Royal Concert Hall. Tickets are £18, call 0115 989 5555.