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Morrissey in quotes

March 2015

“The Brit Awards are ghastly. I would never accept a Brit. It would be like Laurence Olivier being happy getting a TV Times award.”

“The Brit Awards are ghastly. I would never accept a Brit. It would be like Laurence Olivier being happy getting a TV Times award.”

“Long hair is an unpardonable offence which should be punishable by death.”

“I wish that Prince Charles had been shot. I think it would have made the world a more interesting place.”

“I’m not very good at being dull.”

“The smell of burning animals is making me sick. I can smell burning flesh …and I hope to God it’s human.” – exiting the stage at Coachella in 2009.

“It’s the refuge for the mentally deficient. It’s made by dull people for dull people” – on dance music and club culture.

“Bring me the head of Elton John… which is one instance in which meat would not be murder, if it were served on a plate.”

“Life would be so colourful if only I had a drink problem.”

“Bob Geldof is a nauseating character. Band Aid was the most self-righteous platform ever in the history of popular music.”

“I would rather eat my own testicles than reform The Smiths, and that’s saying something for a vegetarian.”

“All human activity is fruitless unless pitted against the girls and boys singing on pop television, for they have found the answer as the rest of us search for the question. I will sing too. If not, I will have to die.”

“The Smiths only happened because I had walked home in the rain once too often.”

“The monarchy is foremost a business, and it’s important to them that the British public continue to finance the excessive luxurious lifestyles of the now quite enormous, wasteful and useless ‘royal’ family. I find it very sad.”

“Age shouldn’t affect you. You’re either marvellous or you’re boring, regardless of your age.”

“It is really on the same moral level as child abuse. It’s the same thing. Animals are like children, they look to us for protection.”

“If I met Vic Reeves, I’d have no desire other than to smack him in the face.”

“Just as the Mercury Prize lands like a voodoo doll in the hands of the unlucky recipient (who is usually to be found selling mattresses ten months later), a Brit Award generally goes to a lot of shriveled young souls who have not earned it.”

“(Sigmund Freud) made people feel so neurotic about their lives. I mean, if you dreamt about a lampshade, it meant you wanted to be whipped by the local vicar or something.”

“I am capable of looking on the bright side – I just don’t do it very often.”

“What’s the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning? Wish I hadn’t.”

“I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong.”

“(Richard Madeley) referred to me as an ‘insufferable puffed-up prat’. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.”

“The rhino is now more or less extinct, and it’s not because of global warming or shrinking habitats. It’s because of Beyoncé’s handbags.”

“If more men were homosexual, there would be no wars, because homosexual men would never kill other men, whereas heterosexual men love killing other men.”

“My parents were worried about me, certainly when I became so deeply interested in music and people like the New York Dolls who, at the time, were very peculiar indeed.”

“I don’t iron anything. Never have and never will.”

“The Smiths was an incredibly personal thing to me. It was like launching your own diary to music.”

“It seems unlikely that an end-of-the-world announcement would be believed nationally unless confirmed on BBC1 by Cheryl Cole whilst conditioning her hair.”

“We’re all lonely, but I’d rather be lonely by myself than with a long list of duties and obligations. I think that’s why people kill themselves, really.”

“Lady Gaga said to me, ‘You showed me how it’s done.’ I have no idea what she meant by ‘it.’”

“I have no love for myself as a human being, but I have immense pride in the music I make, and I believe it has an important place. Others do, too, and the thousands of people with Morrissey tattoos certainly proves something.”

“I think I’d be a prime candidate for canonisation.”

“The solo years have been more meaningful to the audiences than the Smiths years, but the press in England only write about me in relation to the Smiths era.”

“I never imagined I’d be a solo artist. And now I couldn’t imagine being part of a group.”

“I think we were all initially swept along with the Obama win, but he’s proven to be simply a set of teeth, and useless in every other regard.”

“Britain has been encouraged to become a nation of idiots (which, of course, is what it is not).”

“The fire in the belly is essential, otherwise you become Michael Buble – famous and meaningless.”

“The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite – ever.”

Morrissey comes to the Capital FM Arena on Friday, March 13. Tickets are priced at £50.40 and £72.80 (includes admin fee), from the box office. Call 0843 373 3000 or visit

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