ON a Friday night I’ll meet up with some friends and drink too much red wine, just so I sound lovely and croaky for my Radio 2 show the next day. My voice is just so raspy the day after but Friday night is always my “let’s have a blow-out” night.
I’ll probably have a @Thai green curry.@ I shouldn’t because I’m on that Weight Watchers diet at the minute and it’s 18 points.
On Saturday morning I take my dog for a walk. @I’ve got a red setter called Bev@ and she likes a lot of exercise so I try and clear my head by taking her for a long walk. No, I don’t jog. There might be people eating and having picnics in the park.
I have to get to Radio 2 for 5 o’clock. Me and Mel (Sykes) just really click. She’s got the dirtiest sense of humour. I thought I was bad with double entendres but she sees stuff when they’re not even single entendres and she’s killing herself laughing.
She comes out the studio at the end of the show looking like Carrie because she’s been laughing so much.
Radio 2 asked me to do the show so they knew what they were getting, but then, after Sachsgate we had the woman there with the clipboard.
But people seem to like it. They can turn off if they don’t.
Some of the listeners are a lot worse than I am. Anyone who thinks I’m dragging the show down should take a look at my inbox.
I finish the show at 8pm and I’m in the centre of town so I’ll meet up with some friends and have dinner, then go raving. No, I can’t go raving anymore. I’m 34.
Sunday is my day off, so I’ll get the papers, get myself a Sunday roast, take the dog for a walk again. Then watch that massive @Come Dine With Me omnibus@ that starts about 3pm. There are four episodes back to back, then I’ll turn over to Channel 4 and watch the new one. What an exciting life I lead.
I had dinner with@ Robbie Williams@ the other week.
I thought, if you’re a member of Take That, you’re flying around in private jets but he just watches the same things as I do, like @Country House Rescue.
We’re all the same, we all sit at home watching the telly. You always think everyone’s having this amazing lifestyle but they’re not.
When you’re a stand-up comedian, you can’t start going “Naomi Campbell said to me while I was in Monaco...”
I watch @The Only Way Is Essex@ for my sins. I watched the first five minutes and thought “what is this ****!?” and my friend went to turn it over and I was like “no!”. It’s like crack. I was hooked.
I will shut myself off with a DVD box set sometimes, like @Damages@ or @Mad Men.@ And I can watch@ Frasier@ (below) ’til the cows come home.
I have to watch a lot of TV shows for research if we have someone coming on to the chat show.
I don’t like the cinema. I can’t sit still for two hours. And I can’t remember the last time I saw a really good film. They’re all CGI now.
I’d rather read than go and see a film. I love books, I’m always reading, particularly historical ones. I love documentaries on TV as well. Not those “The man whose head was a dustbin” but like @the Dancing Boys of Afghanistan, @which was really interesting.
I listen to soul music at home. People like @Aretha Franklin@ and @Sam Cooke.@ I like @a bit of bossanova@ and @Julie London...@ I’m like a typical old gay. I also like @Fleet Foxes@ and @Cat Power@ (below left) and I veer towards funk sometimes.
My perfect weekend? I’d be in @San Francisco @having a picnic on a sunny day. And not because it’s full of gays. It’s such a beautiful place.
Alan Carr’s Spexy Beast Tour comes to the Capital FM Arena October 4 and 5. Tickets are £30 from the box office, call 08444 124624 or visit www.capitalfmarena.com
Going Out With Alan Carr is every Saturday on BBC Radio 2 from 6pm-8pm.
Chatty Man will return for a sixth series on Channel 4 this summer.