BEATLEMANIA and Rollermania I get but Bieber Fever? If ever there was a pop star to make you feel it’s time to retune the radio to an oldies station it’s the cherub-faced Canadian Justin Bieber.
Everyone knows the name but unless you’ve a school uniform in your wardrobe, it’s doubtful you’d be able to name one of his songs.
We know he’s cut his hair. We know he’s dating some other pop star we’ve never heard of. We know his fans are called Beliebers.
And now we know he’s an out-of-date waxwork at Madame Tussauds.
This week the 17-year-old was at the London museum to unveil it.
Squaring up to the model, he told the assembled journos and snappers: “Look how much taller I am. I’m at least six feet taller than him.”
Well, when you’re worth millions you don’t need a basic grasp of dimensions.
His point being that when he was first measured for the waxwork eight months ago, he’s grown. And the famous ‘Bieber Bob’ is gone. Not only did that did lose him thousands of followers on Twitter, it annoyed Ms Tussaud no end.
Rather tactfully, the principal sculptor at Tussauds said that, he knew it was dated but “we have just kept it as a moment in time.”
Bieber wasn’t quite done with the japes. Remember the Lennon and McCartney banter at press conferences in the early 60s? Brace yourselves...
He pretended to box with the model and joked: “What, punk? What?”
Brilliant. Say something about being bigger than Jesus.
Maybe not. Instead he got his mum on stage with him, said something about facial hair (the waxwork’s not hers) then made an inane remark about it being “awesome.”
Still, Bieber isn’t for us. He’s for the kids. One fan, who was lucky enough to see the unveiling through a competition (probably, it’s how these things work) said: “It's been the best night of my life seeing him.”
We were just the same about The Beatles/Bay City Rollers/ Donny Osmond/Duran Duran/Take That (delete as appropriate).
So who the hell is Justin Bieber?
Well, a YouTube find it seems.
At the age of just 13 he posted videos of himself singing the songs of Usher, Ne-Yo and Stevie Wonder and racked up more than 10 million views purely from word of mouth.
Organic. At least he’s not another manufactured pop monkey.
R&B star Usher caught on to the buzz and signed him to Island/DefJam.
His debut single, One GTime, was released last year and it’s been bedlam ever since.
The single and six other songs from his debut album, My World, featured in the US chart, the Billboard Hot 100, in the same week.
Since then he’s released two updated versions of the album, My World 2.0 and My Worlds – The Collection.
He has eight million followers on Twitter (only Lady Gaga has more), 15 million fans on Facebook and over one billion views on YouTube. Last month his big screen documentary, Never Say Never, dominated cinema screens across the country - in 3D.
And Biebermania is heading to Nottingham next week when his My World Tour comes to the Capital FM Arena.
As well as hundreds of teenage girls racing around the city on Thursday afternoon trying to find the hotel he’ll be staying in, you might see a Hollywood actor pounding the streets, because Will Smith’s daughter Willow is supporting Bieber.
There’s also a new British girl group called SoundGirl who’ll be opening the show but, bless ‘em, no-one is likely to pay them much attention.
There is a chance the A-list party will be hanging around in the city for a few hours at least because thew Nottingham date marks the end of the UK tour. So if you’re passing a chippie late on Thursday and hear an American voice shouting for “a dozen cod and chips” (Bieber has said he is fan of the British national Dish), then run. Run and don’t look back. Chances are there’ll be a stampede of screaming teens heading your way.
Last week in Liverpool, hundreds of fans gathered outside his hotel and police warned the singer he could be charged with “inciting a riot” if he stepped outside.
Via the medium of Twitter we were able to know what Bieber thought about the whole situation, which -- as he was staying in the Hard Days Night hotel -- some, inevitably, drew a parallel to Beatlemania.
“I can't even say hi to my fans outside cuz of the police,” he Tweeted.
“Some bull. Trying to work it out so I can say whatup to my fans,”
Don’t Canadians talk funny?
He threw his best puppy dog face at the boys in blue and they allowed him to out on his balcony to wave.
But that didn’t satisfy everyone: “One woman was led away by an officer who was seen giving her a stern caution,” reported The Mail.
Fans who are heading to the arena on Thursday to see him will likely a) scream throughout and b) hope they’ll be the one picked out of the crowd to sing One Less Lonely Girl.
Yeah, you daydream, belieber.
The show was sold out but additional tickets went on sale earlier this week, priced £29.50 to £35. For availability call 08444 124 624