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Stewart Francis

April 2010 
My Weekend
My TV viewing habits are a bit like my comedy - quick little blasts of titillation. So I’m a flicker. It’s obviously how my brain works. I lose interest after three minutes.
I’ve never seen an episode of 24 or The Wire. I can’t sit down for that long. It must be a delight for my wife to watch TV with me.
I do love my sports and I do watch a lot of ice hockey. As a Canadian I’m required by law. I have a wonderful thing on my laptop called a Slingbox that allows me to watch my hockey back in Canada, albeit at three o’clock in the morning.
You are good at ice hockey over here -- because you’ve got a lot of Canadian internationals in your teams. I’ve been coming over to the UK all my life, I have a British passport, and I’ve watched a lot of hockey over the years. And yes, the calibre is quite good.
Back in the day I played a club in Nottingham and one of the Nottingham Panthers players and their coach were in the audience. The coach used to play on my team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, (CORR) and I remembered him, so it was a thrill to meet him.
I also watch Family Guy and A Place In The Sun, which is people who are househunting on the Costa Blanca. I lived in Spain for nine months before coming to the UK and I have a lot of affection for the country.
And whenever I’m on I watch, I’m a big fan of myself.
It’s different with a movie. That’s a wonderful way of spending two hours - when I see a good movie, that is. More times than not I will leave the theatre feeling ripped off.
One that immediately comes to mind was fellow Canadian Michael Myers’ The Love Guru, which was diabolical. It was panned and the clips I’d seen weren’t that funny but they had the Toronto Maple Leafs winning The Stanley Cup. So for that reason alone I had to go and see it.
I play hockey when I can. That keeps me fit. That and playing squash once a week with my wife.
She is the better cook out of the two of us but I am getting better. My wife works from home so I try to make tea for us but it’s just the basics. At the weekend she pushes me out of the way and makes us a proper meal.
When I’m on my own on tour I go to Subway because I try to eat fresh and healthy. I will get a chippie or a McDonald’s now and again. Or I’ll eat a lot of sushi. When I’m touring with Ricky (Gervais), of course, it’s hotel food and room service.
I’m not a book reader. I’ve only read four books in my life. I think it’s because I have an attention problem. I get distracted so easily.
I’m not the victim here but as a kid growing up I never had the bedtime stories read to me. I think a lot of kids do have that and I love it, I celebrate it. I read to my nieces and nephew.
The four books? Albert Camus’ The Outsider, Steve Martin’s The Pleasure Of My Company, Rich Hall’s Magnificent Bastards and Steve Martin’s Born Standing Up.
Steve Martin is a huge influence. I love him. He’s one of the most innovative comedians of our time. Not so much the movies.
My wife’s aunt and uncle live in Nottingham actually. Dave and Beryl. I’m not sure if they’ll come to my show, I think my stuff might be a bit cheeky. They saw one of my shows before and didn’t comment on any of the material but said something like ‘he was very professional’.

Stewart Francis appears at Nottingham Playhouse on Sunday May 2. For tickets call 0115 941 9419.

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