Charlie Chuck

January 2009


HE found fame on The Smell Of Reeves & Mortimer, playing Vic & Bob's barmy Uncle Peter. Despite a few TV ad campaigns for chocolate bars and beer, Charlie Chuck has pretty much been off our TV screens for more than a decade but that is beginning to change with his role as Doctor Frankenmachine on Nickelodeon's Ross Lee's Ghoulies.
"It has brought me to a new audience," he says.
"In enjoy it, it suits my character."
And what does Doctor Frankenmachine do?
"He puts body parts together."
Chuck last appeared in the city in September at the Rescue Rooms with Frank Sidebottom.
"It was pretty surreal working with Frank," he says.
Odd considering his act usually entails him arguing with his drum kit.
"But it was good. We're talking about touring again in March."
He recently appeared on Sidebottom's TV show "on MTV" – it turns out to be Manchester TV.
"With The Smiths," he says.
The Smiths?
"Yeah, the band."
Again, a little confused is our Charlie. It was their original drummer Mike Joyce and not the long-awaited reunion of Morrissey and Marr.
Which is a shame as the location was suitably silly.
"It was on his allotment in Cheshire. I was drumming in the greenhouse. I was using broom handles on plant pots. Frank Sidebottom was playing the organ."
He admits: "It was lunacy."
If you had to be stuck in a lift with someone, who would it be?
That's interesting. Would they be dead or alive?
Eh?
Ideally C.S. Lewis.
Oh I thought you meant dead or alive in the lift.
No, no no. I meant like C.S. Lewis. He's obviously dead int he? I'm into him. Not so much The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. But the thing of Christianity, and all that sort of stuff. You know what I mean? And how clever he is. Quantum mechanics, physics and all this.
What is your biggest fear?
Flying. I've only ever flown once and that was to the Montreal Comedy Festival two year ago and I nearly didn't get on the plane. I'd have got sued if I hadn't got on the plane because it was worth a lot of money and it was for television. They picked me out to play on this piano and it goes 30 foot in the air and I'm strapped to it and it went upside down. It was superb. But I won't fly again I don't think. Before then they wanted me out there for eight months for 40 dates in the USA and 40 dates in Canada. It was £60,000 to me but I would have been bobbing about on airplanes so I turned it down. I'm happy in a village with my sheepdog.
So why were you afraid of flying before even getting on a plane?
I just think I'll get on that plane that goes down.
What's the most expensive item you've ever bought, not including property?
About 20 year ago I bought a brand new Volvo for £4,000. I'll never get another one because I don't look after cars. I throw too much rubbish in them. Drums and piano and organ and magic and props and people.
What's your indulgence?
Chocolate.
Which kind?
I'd have to say Cadbury's because I did Cadbury's Double Decker advert didn't I? Put that.
And they might send you some more.
I wish they did. It was good I got £18,000 for one day's filming. I could with more of that.
Have you any more adverts lined up?
No. I did Twiglets, Lynx, Walker's crisps, Guinness. If I get them regular I'd be well off.
What item could you not live without?
A picture of my mum and dad on my keyring. My mum was crackers and me dad was clever.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My feet. I've got flat feet.
Where are you going on holiday?
Paris.
What were you doing this time yesterday?
I was actually in me garden. My garden's 140 foot and I've decided to make it in to an allotment. I was putting a greenhouse up.
What will you be doing this time tomorrow?
Teaching music and drama to people with disabilities. That's what I love. I work three days a week with them. When I walk down that road to Shankton they come running towards me. I'm like the Pied Piper. They've got so much love. I wish I'd have done this 30 years ago.

Charlie Chuck, Just The Tonic, The Approach, Nottingham, Sunday January 18.

Charlie Chuck

September 2008


ACCORDING to Justin 'Phoenix Nights' Moorhouse, Charlie Chuck couldn't do Just The Tonic's Millennium Eve show because he'd had a heart attack.
"Ah, bloody hell. What it was, was I'd done too much 'cos... that's going back seven year, innit? I know who passed that on, it were a comedian down south or summat. Yeah."
So you didn't have a heart attack?
"Did I 'eck. I played piano in Montreal other year, upside down on a piano," adds the 62-year-old as if to illustrate his physical health. "But yeah, I'm all right."
All right enough to wreck his drum kit every night on a tour with Frank Sidebottom, which comes to the Rescue Rooms next week. It's his party piece, literally – giving the snares and toms a good hiding every time Paul McCartney has a birthday bash.
"I've done that about four or five times. I've done Christmas shows as well. I wreck the drums, I do the business. It was great. Mary McCartney (Macca's daughter) rung me up and asked if I'd do a show for their dad who'd seen me on the James Whale show. It was at Peasmarsh, his farm (in East Sussex). There were people like Jeff Beck there.
"The last one I did was in Brighton at The Dome where I met his new wife. Well, his wife's gone now, like...
"I remember pulling up in my car to ask someone where The Dome was and I swear on my life it was Paul McCartney."
Walking down the street?
"Walking down the street, I could not believe it. It's gospel truth."
Have you any memorabilia from those gigs?
"I've got photographs, yes, and I could put them on my website but I respect how he is. His privacy. And I'm not a bighead."
The wild-haired Chuck rose to fame as Uncle Peter on Vic & Bob's The Smell Of Reeves & Mortimer, senselessly barking "Donkeh!" and "Woof! Bark! Donkeh!" to surreal comic effect.
He's not spoken to them for years. "They did great for me. I can't knock that. I paid me house off. But that's a long while ago. I had more to do with Johnny Vegas and Mackenzie Crook. I toured with Mackenzie for about two years when he was Charlie Cheese."
This was before his role as Gareth in The Office.
"His act wasn't the best act in the world. It was really corny. But he's cracked it hasn't he?"
Indeed, after The Office Crooke has been in all three Pirates Of The Caribbean movies.
"It's the same with Johnny Vegas. You don't know who's going to make it big," says Chuck.
"John Thomson owes me a fiver from when he was skint. I slummed it with him at Edinburgh before the Steve Coogan days."
While past collaborators have gone on to big or small screen success, Chuck has remained busy.
"I've been doing things. I'm playing Dr Frankenstein on Nickelodeon next month. I did Comic Cuts for ITV2. And there's talk of doing a pilot for BBC3, the Medieval Chronicles of Charlie Chuck. So I'm always working."
TV ads for Double Decker and Twiglets have kept his bank account buoyed up as well.
"£18,000 for one day's filming," he says of the former.
Chuck, real name David Kear, started out as a drummer, playing with, among others, the Small Faces.
"I toured with them when it was Steve Marriott (in the line-up). I toured with Ginger Baker's Airforce. And I was on with Bill Haley and The Comets in Frankfurt in 1962."
He says: "I'm happy, what I do. I also work with people with disabilities. I teach music and drama. I took them to Edinburgh in 2004 and I'm doing the West End with them. It's a singsong type thing. But there's an element of comedy. It's costing £30,000 per night."
He's also an aromatherapist and is training as a counsellor.
"That's the other side of me," he says.
"People think I'm just nuts."

Charlie Chuck appears with Frank Sidebottom at the Rescue Rooms on Tuesday September 23. Tickets are a very specific £14.94 on 0871 310 0000.